dating lesson learned...then applied.

Disclaimer: mostly a dating story with a hint of food at the end.

Paying for online dating has made me go a bit dating mad recently. The more dates I go on the more frustrating it becomes. I really do want a relationship...a real one. By "real" I actually do actually mean serious. I have been trying to deny my interest in anything "serious" for a couple years.  Many times I have said..."I am not looking for anything serious". I say it because I think it is what men want to hear...and also because I want to clarify that I am not going to insist we move in, get married and have babies next year. But I do want exclusivity, I want future plans (like holidays), I want frequent communication and I want to be incorporated into their life...and let's actually be honest... I want to work toward the wedding and baby thing. So basically, I realise, I want serious.

Recently online dating sent me on a lovely second date with someone amazing. A very good looking, intelligent, successful, and incredibly sweet 39-year old lawyer. The catch...recently separated (after a 20-year relationship) with 2 kids...3 and 5. He was keen, very keen. Almost put me off with lots of talk of future plans. Maybe you think I should have been put off by the ex-wife/kids, but I don't mind the idea of kids and if he gets along with his ex (they are best friends) then I think it could all work out fine. The problem, however, with dating a divorcee is dating them when it's fresh. This I have experience with...my last relationship was with someone in a disturbingly similar situation.

We had plans for a third date...the morning of I received a cancellation..."Dating is emotionally frenetic...sorry to halt things. It was nice to meet you". He wasn't ready for something serious. He was just learning how to date...and I was one of the first. He'd made a mistake talking about the future and scared himself more than he had scared me. I replied, letting him know I understood. He followed that with, "...I really do adore you, you are beautiful in every sense...".

A week later, we ended up going out once more. This time we ended up at a restaurant I had been to before, sitting at a table I had sat at before, and I had the opportunity to create a relationship I had had before. We were nearly finished with the main course, when he brought up the events of the previous week. He thanked me for my understanding text, said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said. I said I had meant it and then there was silence. This silence could have been filled with, "I like you, you like me and since I don't want anything serious...." and I am certain I could have started a slow pseudo-relationship like I spent 5-months in recently. In retrospect given the location and the situation, it seems as though life was testing me. I looked at him, our eyes met, I smiled and I let the moment pass silently. A painful relationship with an amazing man is still painful...and a second one was avoided.

He dropped me off at mine. He went for a kiss, I turned my head and he got my forehead. I said goodnight and I left Mr. Amazing...probably forever.

I am still single, maybe a little bit stronger, but maybe not strong enough to actively seek out the sweet but confused and not-ready-for-relationship? I think I should just let them come to me. Me and online dating might be done.

OK...I will mention the food. I have been there twice after all. It's good and perfect if you fancy thai food, happen to be in Greenwich and you're on a date with a divorced father of two. Last time I had the Yum Nua beef salad, this time I had the squid stir fried with basil and chilli...both dishes are recommended, but I didn't really enjoy the mixed starter to share.

afternoon tea...remembering Matt Damon

It is very rare that I get a friend from home (Arizona) visiting London. A couple weeks ago, Linda, happened to be in London on business. She is married to one of my best friends from high school...they started dating about 15 years ago so I feel like I have known her forever. I knew she was going to be visiting so when I saw a Groupon voucher for Afternoon Tea at No. 31 Lounge Bar in The Hempel Hotel I thought that would be a perfect option. Afternoon tea is definitely the perfect thing for visitors. Since I had recently enjoyed the tasting menu from No. 35 (blog here) at The Hempel I wanted to see if their lounge would be as good.

The Hempel is a very modern hotel. Beautiful but not cozy...although I did like the couches and the warm fire in No. 31. I thought it offered a very upscale feeling which was nice for impressing a good friend. The tea menu offered eight different options of organic leaf tea. I chose the Assam and Linda went with Earl Grey.

The finger sandwiches were good. We had ham and cheese, salmon and cream cheese, egg salad and coronation chicken. I really liked the coronation chicken. It's not a sandwich filler I have ever had before as it is never quite clear what it is, but here I trusted it and it was very good.

The cakes were lovely as well. I especially liked the lemon meringue tart. We also had brownies, macaroons and spiced cake. The scones were just OK. They were very soft and didn't have the crunchy outside that I like. Last time Linda visited several years ago, I had taken her to The Orchard in Grantchester near Cambridge. They have the BEST scones and these definitely were not up to that level.







The highlight of Linda's last visit was our trip to Stonehenge where we literally ran into Matt Damon! We were trying to walk through the underground walkway to get to the monument and accidentally headed for the men's bathroom just as he was walking out!!! As it was already 4:30pm we missed out on seeing Stonehenge as we stood starstruck for the next 20 minutes as he and his wife loaded their baby into the van with the help of several body guards! That is my best (maybe only) celebrity story. Unfortunately, Matt Damon did not show up for afternoon tea...but all in all we enjoyed the afternoon. If I went back to No. 31 I would like to try their bar menu. It includes a variety of sandwiches, salads, tapas and snacks and an exciting list of cocktails...or another visit to No. 35 would be well worth it. However, the afternoon tea was nice and I would definitely recommend it if you happen to be staying in the hotel.


The afternoon tea is £20 each and you can upgrade to include a glass of Taittinger champagne for an additional £10.

No. 31 Lounge Bar
The Hempel Hotel 
31-35 Craven Hill Gardens
London
W2 3EA

black sesame ice cream...heaven in a bowl

One of my favourite places to eat in London has just become slightly more accessible to the foodie public. It is the home of Luiz, The London Foodie. I have been to his house for several London Cooking Club events. At these events, Luiz designs a menu based on a particular cuisine and sometimes a particular cookbook. Each guest signs up for a dish and brings it along with a bottle of wine. It is fabulous...and I look forward to the two I am signed up for in the next couple months (Neopolitan and Filipino).  These require that you can and want to cook a dish. However, recently Luiz has changed career paths, remodeled his already amazing kitchen and following on from the success of the Grazing Asia Supper Club (featured in Time Out) has started his own Japanese Home Cooking Supper Club.

I booked this evening the moment Luiz advertised it back in September. I booked it for two and brought along Cath. She was excited to join me at a supper club evening as she has heard me talk so much about them. We had a pre-dinner drink before we headed to Luiz's house where we were the first to arrive. We were greeted and served Gin and Tonic as more guests began to arrive. As we were mingling, we were served canapés of Takoyaki (octopus balls) and pom pom chicken provided by Pom Pom a company that makes these fresh for parties and events. They were really tasty.

Once all 18 guests had arrived, we were led upstairs to a kitchen like no other. It's incredible! I loved their kitchen before it was redone, but now Luiz and Gerard have a wine fridge, a massive beautiful Aga and enough table space for 20 guests! I only wish I owned a decent camera...I apoligise for the pictures that follow!

The tables were set with small stoves for cooking the first course: Spicy Pork and Seafood Nabe. This is a family dish in Japan that is only served to very special guests. The bowl was full of a selection of seafood (prawns, clams, squid), pork belly, enoki mushrooms, cabbage and daikon. Into this Luiz poured a dashi broth with Korean spicy paste. This was left to cook in front of us for a few minutes.

While we waited for the Nabe to cook we enjoyed salmon sashimi with a japanese vinaigrette that cures the fish slightly. It was served with a mix of creme fraiche and avocado. The salmon was so fresh and delicate; I loved the light vinaigrette made with soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, and grated onion.


Once finished with the salmon we served each other the Nabe with the communal chopsticks. This was very flavourful. The dashi broth made with dried sea kelp and bonito flakes had flavoured all the seafood and vegetables. I fished around in the near empty bowl to find missed bits of squid and clam :)

Once the goodies were gone lightly fried gyoza (dumplings) were added to the broth, which were immediately consumed.

Finally, udon noodles were added to the broth. This was simple...just noodles and broth, but I really like the texture of udon noodles...thick and a bit chewy so I really enjoyed this.















The next course was Beef Tataki with Creamy Sesame Sauce. The high-quality and perfectly cooked fillet of beef was served on a bed of cooked onion topped with a sauce made from tahini, soy sauce, mirin, rice vinegar, and a bit of sugar and a sprinkling of perfectly cooked crispy garlic slices.

For a mid-meal palate cleanser, we received two slices of tamago-yaki (Japanese omelet). I think I read somewhere that a sushi chef is judged by the quality of his tamago, similar to western chefs being tested by their ability to properly fry an egg. I am not a tamago expert but this was very nice.

Next up were a selection of small plates:

• Rice with chicken, carrots, and shitake mushrooms
• Aubergine with sweet miso topped with mozzerella
• Green beans and fishcakes with spicy mayo... I really liked this. The fishcakes (which can sometimes be dubious at restaurants) were delicious.

The final savoury dish was miso soup with spinach and deep fried tofu. It was made with white miso which is slightly sweeter. I love miso...and this was an excellent version.

To end it all was a trio of ice creams: black sesame, red bean and green tea served with a home-made madeleine. I am a massive fan of mochi filled with red bean paste so I thought the red bean would be my favourite, but the black sesame was AMAZING!! I loved it and I am definitely going to try to make it at home...just as soon as I buy an ice cream maker!!

This was a perfect evening. As always Luiz is the best host, and the food was just phenomenal! I was also very impressed by his attention to detail. He recently returned from a 2-month trip to Japan where he purchased most of the dinnerware we ate on and also glassware for the condiments (soy sauce, chile oil etc).

He even had ice buckets for bottles of water and all of the wine we brought.

Plus I haven't even mentioned how lovely it was to chat with all the other guests. As has become common for me at these events, I knew two others. We had met at the French London Cooking Club.

Many of the recipes and a good portion of Luiz's Japanese cooking knowledge comes from Reiko Hashimoto. She teaches several levels of Japanese cooking courses in London (I am dying to take one). Luiz has taken them all and has even assisted her with several. She recently published the cookbook "Hashi", and Luiz had several copies for purchase. I bought one and cannot wait to try it out...the black sesame ice cream in particular. 

Luiz has now released a range of dates for more Japanese Home Cooking Supper Clubs. I highly recommend booking in...his house is most definitely one of London's best kept secrets.